Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Lord of the Lame

Baby, I've seen spicier moves at Mormon wedding receptions. But lame moves nonwithstanding (we can't all move like YBIL officials, after all) it should also be noted that your bastardization of Irish culture is quite offensive to us, on a personal level. In fact your flagrant bastardization of the traditional Irish way is enough to make Michael Flatley blush. You're supposed to keep your arms stiffly AT YOUR SIDES. FYI,

Without that feature you are just flailing around like an imperialistic, borderline sociopathic jerkface.

You know, all of our staff here at YBIL, combined, make almost one whole person of Irish descent, and that cumulative person is feeling fairly culturally marginalized by your brushing off of tradition.

Here's a gift certificate to Bennigan's, lameO. Use it to buy a Blarney Blast, and as you funnel it into your sippy cup, think long and hard about how you have made others feel, and what you have potentially done to civilization.