Stop it. STOP IT NOW. 3:28 PM

How's your blood pressure been lately? Not high enough? Do you find yourself not twitching and shaking with sheer lame-induced fury not nearly as much as you would like? If so, please click here



Warning: You will be assaulted with highly offensive levels of LAME.

Dear River What'sHerFuckFromFelicity, get a haircut and a job you damn hippie. This is a phase, a phase that most of us went through while we were, ya know, teething. That shit is so 5-7 months. Not cute.





And while we're at it I am so not feeling Honor Marie Warren's swagger here. She looks like the type who squeals at her own jokes.

L to the A-M-E. More to come.

Lame Baby Boom 8:48 PM

Okay, Babywatchers, the jig is up. The year 2008 is almost over, and I feel as if we blinked and a year of lame baby critical mass has almost gone unchecked. In the words of anti-baby crusader Jennifer Aniston this is a very UNCOOL reality. Although we at YBIL are all about helpful constructive criticism and giving all babies a fair shake, it is a known fact that lame sperm and lame eggs produce lame babies. And 2008 has been all about lame baby fever. Lame HIGH PROFILE baby fever.

And enough is enough.

Do the names Honor Marie, Bronx Mogwli and Sunday Rose mean anything to you?

We can't let this new crop of lame babies pull this kind of sneaky crap right under our noses.

So hitch up your Huggies Pull-Ups because it's gonna be a year of taking out the trash, YBIL style.

Stay tuned.

lame babies: StarTracker special 3:50 PM

To be fair, avoiding being a lame baby can be a mighty task when you are the spawn of Gwyneth Paltrow and the frontman of one of the lamest bands of all time, Coldplay.

But your efforts up until this point have been meager at best. We know you're probably out to protect your wee eardrums, Apple, but does the word "overkill" mean anything to you?

There is more to being a cool baby than slapping on a pair of hot pink earmuffs that just barely match your Pumas. But no hard feelings. It's for the best that you learn this lesson while you're still in your Twos.