Monday, October 12, 2009

too soon

It's October, the month when babies prepare to march around in stupid outfits in a desperate and shameless effort to exploit others for attention and sugar product. Candy is like baby crack cocaine and they will go to deplorable lengths to get their fat, poorly coordinated mitts on it...even by sullying the memory of those who have gone before us.

There is nothing more sickening than babies trying to capitalize upon the death of others, especially in such a careless manner. The hair? Michael Jackson, not Hall from Hall & Oates so in the end the ignorance not only compromises the victims of your exploitation, but your own dignity as well. "Slap on a curly wig, promote animal cruelty and offensive stereotypes, and be rewarded with fun size candy bars"

seems to be the prevailing logic among the babies of today and is our duty, as cool, real, not baby people, to raise awareness of an upcoming dramatic spike in baby lameness. More from the front lines tomorrow.