Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Twice as lame in cellophane

Unlike homemade cookies or aromatherapy candles, lameness is not something that needs to be kept fresh in cellophane. Also babies, I hope you remembered to poke airhols. This is deeply unsafe, and babies, safety is always "in". Dangerous predicaments are always lame, especially when they are self imposed. Why? Because my tax dollars are paying for the fire brigade that will inevitably have to come to save your ass. And the ER visit. Not to mention the lame publicity blitz that follows. So next time you decide to enclose yourself in cellophane just do it on your own time. We suffer from occasional lame induced seizures. Baby Tip #79: Help asphyxiate lameness by being considerate for once.