Friday, July 4, 2008

we are doomed

"In a future time
Children will work together"

says this cryptic captioneer. What is unspoken but starkly obvious is that these youngsters will be working towards a common goal all right: a common goal of breaking some obscure Guiness world record for number of lameOs crammed into one vacant lot, as evidenced by this convoy of stupid hats and brainless waving at no one particular (baby on the left in the red stroller, I'm looking at you).

Where is this Independence Day parade taking place, the parking lot of a Giant Eagle? Although, in a way, it may be preferable to centralize and isolate these babies in such a manner, so as to more efficiently quarantine and treat the situation.

Baby Tip #59: If you come across a lame baby, please attempt to usher them into a dark corner or onto a remote lot, out of sight, and then contact us immediately.