So lame. There really is no need for this sort of blatant grandstanding. But while you're at it, why not put on a freaking peony costume and pose for some Anne Geddes shots that will be made into refrigerator magnets? At least giving up your dignity that way could score you a few bucks that you could use to go and buy a new jacket; namely, one that didn't beg for compassion by making you look like Oliver Twist.
Baby Tip #342: Remember, use fashion to project to the world your sophistication and confidence -- it is a reflection of what you think about yourself, and people will respond accordingly.