Tuesday, August 7, 2007

welcome to YBIL, you babies

Let's get this going, babies. We'll be honest: there's a lot of work to be done. But this is important -- really important -- so no excuses.

The truth is that there are too many lame babies out there. And their numbers are growing, posing a serious health risk (both mental and physical) to everyone that ever comes into contact with them.

"Oh, she's a-dor-able!" "Cuchi-coo!" or "He's going to grow up to be quite the little soccer player!" Ugh. Enough of the lies. Some babies are undeniably lame - and it shouldn't be on the rest of us to perpetuate the hurtful and confusing ruse by pretending that they are, in fact, cool babies. It does no one any good, including the lame babies themselves.

Instead, we here at Your Baby Is Lame have set out on a mission to out these lame babies - and then to provide a forum in which their lameness can be discussed. Stupid baby clothes? Annoying attention-grabbing antics? Smug looks of plush, kingly comfort? These are the kinds of irritants that can be properly dealt with on these pages.

It is about time people stopped putting up with all the damned lame babies around and instead start demanding that these deleterious little ones take action to right themselves. Future generations deserve better. But, remember,
this is not mean-spirited. (Granted, that is not to say it cannot be fun. It will be fun. Revolutions are always fun - just ask around.)

So, on to the babies. And, please, join us in this movement - we welcome your input, feedback and lame baby sightings from every inch of the globe. One child at a time, we will heal this lame-stricken earth.